Chicken Ain't Nothing But a Bird

Related to my last post complaining about vegetarian food on planes, I have to mention an interesting vegetarian meal I got on my most recent flight. It included chicken! Apparently chicken is a vegetable and not a bird -- the things you learn!

And no, the airline didn't apologize for the mistake, but they reluctantly gave me a new meal.

--Curly

On Writing Contests That Are Truly Popularity Contests

I spend a lot of time learning about (and sometimes, even entering) writing contests. There's one kind of contest I just won't enter. I try not to promote this sort of contest to other writers, either (unless there's some really extenuating circumstance). The contest type in question is far less a writing contest than it is a popularity contest.

Such contests award prizes on the basis of electronic "votes" from readers. Trouble is, it's pretty easy to envision people with large and devoted families (and/or Facebook followings) "scripting" their own wins, regardless of the quality of their work.

What do you think of such contests?

--Prunella

Where's the Sweet?

I travel a lot and I am a vegetarian. I always order a vegetarian meal on planes.

Why oh why do vegetarian meals rarely include dessert and why do they give margarine instead of butter? We may not eat animals, but that doesn't mean we don't enjoy the good things in life!

--Curly

Pru Lives!

Just a note of reassurance to anyone who may be wondering if Prunella Peeve is still alive and kicking. Yes, indeed, she is (I am). Seems as though I haven't had a whole lot to gripe about lately, but just give me time!

--Prunella Peeve

Get off the Phone!

It's well-known that I'm not a fan of cell phones. I have no great desire to hear people's stupid conversations all day long, but I have unfortunately gotten somewhat used to the fact that I find people using their cells everywhere these days: movie theaters, the quiet compartments on trains, concerts, even in bathrooms. Some months ago, I was at a poetry reading and not just one but several audience members were on their phones while the poet was reading. Aren't things going too far? What happened to politeness?

--Curly

Easy-to-Read

I am a doctoral student in a field within the humanities and as such, I have to read theory. My peeve is that a lot of theory seems to be purposely written in a dense, confusing style. Why can’t people write clearly? My theory about that is that either people think they sound smarter when they use big words or complex concepts or that they are trying to hide the fact that they actually have nothing to say. I’ve been praised for my simple-to-understand style, although I was also warned that people may be so taken aback by it that they may assume I’m not intelligent or well-spoken. What a strange state of affairs it is when big words are thought to equal big ideas, when often it is quite the opposite.
--Curly

Curly Curmudgeon is a Scrooge

I like how thoughtful people can be, sending cards out and exchanging gifts during the holidays, but I wonder whether it wouldn’t actually be better to donate the money they would have spent on cards and presents to charity. I feel like a curmudgeon when someone gives me a gift or a card and I have nothing to give them back (except for baked goods, which I tend to produce and share frequently), but I prefer to save up that money and donate it to charity instead. Still, I tend to bow to the demands of polite society.

For example, I sponsor a child in Ethiopia. The amount I spend on that per month definitely exceeds what I spend on gifts, but if I felt less societal pressure to give people cards and gifts, I could donate even more money to charities and help them make a difference in the world. Isn’t that more important?

--Curly

S'il Vous Plaît

As the holiday season is upon us, many people are having parties. I, too, have hosted a couple of gatherings, and, not surprisingly, some things have peeved me.

It is a big peeve when people either a) don't RSVP or b) say they will come and then don't and don't bother to let the host know. Remember that people who are hosting an event need to have fairly firm figures, especially if said event includes food and drink, as ingredients must be purchased. It is a simple courtesy to let people know if you are coming or not. Sure, you may be holding out for some better invitation to come along, but in that case, say you’re not going. If that’s your attitude, you probably won’t be a fun guest anyway.

So respondez s'il vous plaît!

--Curly

Getting Pissed

I know that a lot of young people haven't had much experience drinking and they feel it is exciting to try it out and also that they may need some "liquid courage" as they start university and/or embark on their social lives, but...why do they have to drink to get drunk? Why do I see so many people out on the weekends, throwing up in the streets, acting foolishly and dangerously, and doing things they might likely regret later? Why can't people learn their own limits?

--Curly

A Little Gratitude, Please!

This is a peeve somewhat related to Curly's post here. The new angle is this: When I see that a former classmate, colleague, or teacher has published a book or won a big prize, I'm often moved to write a note congratulating that person. Right away.

But you'd be amazed how often the messages go unanswered, or are answered only after quite a delay. (Or maybe you wouldn't be so amazed. Maybe this is even more common than I realize.)

So here's my message for all those big shots out there: If you're too busy/important to acknowledge little ol' me and my good wishes, you can bet you won't hear from me the next time. (If there is a next time!) So there!

--Prunella