The Idiot Box

I don’t have a tv, but sometimes I see programs at other people’s homes or I just hear about shows from their fervent fans. And I have to think that “idiot box” is an excellent name for the tube. I’m dismayed by the low level of the shows and the way people invest so deeply in what happens in them.

Do people really have nothing better to do than to glue themselves to the sofa and stare at the small screen for hours a day? How about spending time with friends or relatives, getting exercise, reading a book, doing some work, doing crafts, etc?

Why is tv use so prevalent?

--Curly

Used and Discarded

I’ve talked about how people rarely thank others for help provided. Occasionally it happens and then I feel surprised and it makes me want to continue to give advice and help to other people (who then disappoint me by not thanking me).

Once again, though, I spent a lot of time helping someone (in this case, someone I’d known well for years with something she could have discovered herself by doing just a bit of research, even via Google, and also, she has much more free time than I do), and she responded by not contacting me for a long time and then never thanking me for the help or showing interest in how I’d been doing in the meantime (a period when I’d had surgery and lost a family member).

Sometimes I don’t know why I bother.

--Curly

Jesus Isn’t Welcome Here

I’ve complained before about people wishing even non-Christians a Merry Christmas. I recently had occasion to realize once again how deeply Christian sentiments imbue our society.

When there was a death in the family, some people – who, I must admit, were kind enough to want to make a gesture of some sort – said that God had called the late relative home, and made other comments along those lines. I could accept that, even though I’m an atheist. But some people who were clearly aware that our family is not Christian, sent religious messages, talking about Jesus. And that, I felt, was beyond what was appropriate. And verses from the New Testament were also unwelcome.

How hard is it to remember that religious belief is a very private thing and that you should keep it to yourself, especially during what is a difficult time for someone else?

--Curly

Anti-Anti-Pride

It’s Pride season, which means it’s also pride-protester season. Among the protesters and to varying degrees of vocalness, there are a number of types. For example, there are the usual religious fanatics who are anti-queer (and I can’t be bothered to argue with their stupidity at the moment), and then there are the fairly queer-friendly, or at least queer-accepting, folks who just don’t see a point in pride.

“Be gay, fine. But why do you have to be all out and loud and proud about it?” they ask.

If society pressures people to be heterosexual and yet someone manages to be true to him- or herself anyway and to live a homosexual or bisexual life, that person deserves to feel some pride in his/her strength. It’s incredibly hard for many to go against societal and familial demands, and to be themselves.

“But why don’t we get heterosexual pride parades?” the same fairly queer-accepting people ask.

Every day celebrates heterosexual pride! Every day, heterosexual couples can go about their lives, holding hands in public, kissing in the streets, sharing romantic meals, visiting each other in the hospital, picking up their children from school, getting equal rights everywhere and at all times, and so much more. So is one day to celebrate homosexual and bisexual couples too much to ask?

I’m anti these anti-pride-protesters.

--Curly

Family Feud

It’s true that we don’t choose our families, and often they are people we wouldn’t necessarily want to be friends with and/or have little in common with, but we’re generally stuck with them anyway (unless we cut off contact, which is extreme, but sometimes the only possible way forward).

There are good things about my relatives, but there have been a number of stressful family situations over the years, and although I love them, I can’t say it is easy or relaxing to spend time with them. So while I’m looking forward to seeing them next month, I am also beginning to feel a sense of unease about it. I wish family members could accept us for who we are, even if we are different than they would have liked. In general, if we all just took people for who they are, rather than being disappointed that they are different than we had planned or hoped for, we would have fewer feuds and fewer stressful and upsetting family visits.

--Curly

Priceless

Prices keep going up, but I am getting no salary increase this year to match the higher cost of living. This has to do with where I work and how it is funded, but nevertheless, it is annoying to see how I retain less and less of what I work very hard to earn.

--Curly

Unfayre

There are two things I dislike about summer fairs. First of all, they are often spelled “fayre,” which is supposed to convey a sense of old-fashioned, innocent, good-old-days fun. Second, you are then expected to have fun there, and it ends up feeling forced and stressful. Unfayre and not fun!

--Curly

Hairy and Scary

Why is there the assumption that women must shave their legs and armpits and bikini areas? Why do people tend to find it so offensive if a woman dares to wear shorts or a skirt and has hairy legs? Is it so threatening to our natural order?

It’s such a waste of time to shave, and of course the various bits of paraphernalia we need or the services we pay for when shaving or waxing or getting electrolysis or whatever else can get quite expensive. And when the hair is growing back, it feels rough and can be scratchy or itchy.

Personally, I have better things to do with my time. I still feel a bit uncomfortable when wearing a skirt, even if I’m also wearing tights or pantyhose over my legs, but I know that’s just due to my socialization, and I am trying to overcome it. But I don’t appreciate friends or relatives or lovers making negative comments about my body hair; it just doesn’t seem to be any of their business, and it can also be rather sad to hear how everyone in our society has bought into the idea of a hair-free woman being the ideal.

--Curly

Independence Day

In the spirit of Independence Day in the U.S., I’m thinking of things in my life I wish I could (or wish I had the energy/strength/courage to) divest myself of. I feel weighed down by objects, for example. I don’t like owning tchotchkes and though I appreciate when people give me presents, I also tend to think that now I’ll have yet another thing to dust and to move around on my peripatetic lifestyle.

Also, I seem to have collected a lot of acquaintances. I guess that’s what happens over a life, but there are so many people who demand a lot of me (or at least demand much more than they give), and that’s so draining. I try to be a good friend and to listen to others and to support them when they need me, but I don’t always feel I get that in return.

Sometimes I think I’d to get rid of some of the excess stuff and the excess people in my life.

--Curly

Extra Extra

Have you ever noticed that when you make a purchase, the salespeople try to talk you into buying all sorts of extras you really don’t need? They waste our time with a whole spiel (and yes, they are required to do it, and you could feel sorry for them, in some small way) and then seem personally affronted when you politely say no. They often try to talk you into it, even when you have said no. In my freelance work, I don’t try to sell more than what the customers want or need. They tell me what the project is and I give them prices and delivery dates. End of story. Why can’t it be that way when you make purchases in other situations?

--Curly