A Holiday Gift from Peeves and Rants

Given that this is the holiday season, it seems appropriate to share this peevish, rant-filled treat with all of you. Enjoy!

--Prunella Peeve

The Grinch Returns

I’m glad Christmas is almost over, because I’m sick of Christmas carols, Christmas cards, Christmas shopping, Christmas food, and the Christmas spirit in general. This forced joviality gets tiresome. And even though people talk about how this season is about charity and happiness and all that, it seems like it’s just about commerciality and money to me.

Bad Food, Bad News

Speaking of large people, as I did in the last post, what about all the unhealthy food out there? I know it’s our own responsibility to eat well, but I can imagine it could be tempting for some people (not me) that there are McDonald’s and Kentucky Fried Chicken and Burger King and other such chains all over the place. There’s even a KFC across the street from my gym. When did we get so unhealthy? How come so many people eat at these disgusting places?

Also, why is there such a preponderance of prepackaged food? Don’t people cook from scratch anymore? All that ready-to-eat food and all those tv meals are so unhealthy. No wonder we’re all getting so large we need two seats on planes or buses.

--Curly

Move Over, I’m Squashed

Okay, maybe this is just rude of me, but I do get annoyed by fat people on airplanes, trains, or buses. I think very large people should pay for two seats, because if they only have one, and you’re the poor person stuck next to them, you get squeezed and it’s quite uncomfortable. I know some people have health problems that make them gain weight, but nevertheless, the rest of us shouldn’t have to suffer for it.

--Curly