Insomnia, My Biggest Enemy

I am so peeved about my lack of skills in the art of sleeping. I’ve been this way for years (and I suspect there are certain reasons why this is the case) and I’ve been struggling with it for so long that now I am basically scared to go to bed at night. And obviously that doesn’t help matters, because I expect to sleep poorly and thus set myself up for a self-fulfilling prophecy.

I seem to have tried nearly everything and nothing works. I’m exhausted. I can’t work well. And I don’t know what to do.

--Curly

Cashier, Not Inquisitor

I understand that perhaps working at a cash register is not the most enjoyable job out there (on a tangent, what *is* the most enjoyable job out there?), but that doesn’t mean check-out people should comment on customers’ purchases.

I routinely hear cashiers at the grocery story ask people buying wine either “Having a party, are you?” or “Have a bad day?” The customer often laughs uncomfortably. This kind of question seems rather awkward and inappropriate.

Meanwhile, I usually get comments about my purchases, because my shopping trolley is noticeably missing meat. Cashiers like to ask about my “vegetarian lifestyle” or tell me what I should eat, as though I need their input.

This isn’t just true of grocery stores, either. I get asked questions at other stores, too, such as whether what I am buying is a present (and no, they don’t always ask because they wonder about gift-wrapping) or what I am planning to do with the item. Why is it any of their business?

--Curly

The Look of Love: Commercial Crassness and Stereotypes

An obvious peeve is the commercial crassness of Valentine’s Day. We’re expected to buy cards, flowers, candy, and other gifts (generally decorated with hearts) for our loved ones once a year, but what I don’t get is why we don’t show people our love all the time and not just on a holiday that clearly is meant to offer a significant profit to certain industries. But it isn’t just the commerciality that bothers me; it’s also the stereotyping.

The other day, I was in a card shop, making a study of the cards available. First of all, nearly all the cards were designed for heterosexual couples. This was obvious because of the pictures of male and female people (or, once in awhile, animals, such as cats or bears, dressed in stereotypically male and female ways, with one cat in a skirt and the other wearing a tie) on the cards. So Valentine’s Day is a holiday for straight people.

Secondly, it was interesting to see how the cards used language. Cards addressed “to my husband” or “to my boyfriend” used terms such as “strong man,” “good father,” “faithful husband,” and “loving boyfriend.” Cards addressed “to my wife” or “to my girlfriend” were more likely to use words like “beautiful” and “sexy.” That is to say that women express their love for the men in their lives by praising what they do and how they do it, whereas men refer to their wives’ and girlfriends’ looks.

Is this what love is about?

--Curly

To Dye For

I am getting pretty tired of people “helpfully” suggesting that I color my hair in order to cover the gray. There are several annoying things about this.

One major issue I have with these suggestions is that they are unwelcome. I didn’t solicit advice about my appearance, and yet people often feel they have the right to offer it. Why don’t you mind your own business and take care of your own looks before criticizing mine?

Secondly, the advice these people proffer suggests there is something wrong with gray hair. What is wrong with gray hair exactly? Do I look old (and what is wrong with that, anyway) because I have some gray (actually white) strands? Do I look ugly? Why?

On my paternal side of the family, people go gray/white prematurely, and apparently I am following that pattern. Some of the people dye their hair and it looks awful and fake, especially past a certain age. I have no urge to look like I’ve been pouring shoe polish on my head. Also, it isn’t healthy for your hair and I am not eager to dry out or damage my locks.

So thanks for the unwanted advice, but I think I’ll take a pass on the dye.

--Curly

Thirtynothing

I'm not exactly up on pop music, nor am I generally a fan of pop, but I can't resist agreeing with some of the peevish sentiment's in Lily Allen's 22 (you can watch the video online).

There are two main points. One is that once you reach thirty, your life is over, especially if you're a woman (Blur, an all-male group, claims that what is more likely is that "the mind gets dirty as you get closer to thirty" -- you can watch a video for this song online, too). As I approached thirty, I was certainly warned about what this new decade would entail, and the predictions were dire. Is thirty really the end of the best part of a person's life? I don't think so!

The other peeve in Lily Allen's song is about how a woman is waiting for a man to "pick[s] her up and put[s] her over his shoulder," i.e. to be the one to change her life, fix her problems, and take care of her. This is the message from society, too.

In other words, as we women approach thirty, we had better hope we find a man to ensure that our life doesn't get very depressing and hopeless.

--Curly