Texting, Texting, 1, 2, 3

Ah, text speak! That's the short abbreviations and sloppy mannerisms people employ when their word count is strictly limited (unlike on a blog, natch). That’s fine when you’re texting, I suppose, even though I still prefer a slightly more formal style, but it is definitely not fine in: emails, letters, essays, articles, and other more serious venues. I really dislike getting messages from students or friends in “text type,” because it suggests carelessness. And I know I’m not the only one who would judge potential partners on their language skills, which means I tend to run from people who message or email me with a sentence like, “U r cute. How r u? I’m tired. LOL!”

No, I’m not laughing out loud at your text speak; instead I’m wishing you could take the time to write a proper sentence. Call me curmudgeonly, but there it is.

--Curly

Forward: Untrue “Facts”

Related to my last point about stupid forwards, I would like to complain about untrue ones. Yes, there are sites like Snopes, where you can check if a certain item is really dangerous for your health or if a celebrity really has such a low IQ or whatever, but why should I have to check facts and then correct you? I have several times sent emails back to people, refuting their “facts” and suggesting they send an explanatory message to everyone they sent their original forward to, and really this is a waste of time and energy.

So if you are going to send a forward containing “facts,” get your facts straight first!

--Curly

Forward: Re: Forward: Forward: Stupid

We all have limited time, so why do people like to waste time (both mine and theirs) by reading and then forwarding stupid emails? How nice that you think women are phenomenal, that you consider me a friend, that you laugh at stereotyped jokes about men and women, that you want everyone to be aware of strange people who might be hiding in the back seat of cars, that you find statistics about which ethnic groups won Nobel Prizes interesting, that you would like to consider whether Jesus was black or Jewish (or perhaps non-existent), and so on, but why do I have to think about such things (especially when I’ve already seen each message many times!)?

It is a waste of my time to have to look through the email, decide whether I want to read it or not, and then delete it. So please stop sending the same lame, dull, and useless emails over and over again!

--Curly

How to Ensure That I Won't Promote Your Site, Book, Business, Etc.

I frequently receive e-mails from writers who'd like me to promote their books, services, courses, Web sites, etc. on my own blog or in my newsletter. One of these requests arrived today. Here are just a couple of reasons why I'm not likely to follow through on the writer's suggestion that her information merits a mention:

1) The subjects she covers in her books/courses (all of which cost good money--tell me about a giveaway or a scholarship and I'm much more interested) are only tangentially related to the material my readers expect me to cover.

2) The links she provided in her initial e-mail to me did not take me directly to the materials she thought I should promote for her. She referred me instead to bigger, not particularly well-organized Web sites where I could not locate two of the three items she had highlighted.

3) When I responded to her e-mail noting that I do not promote materials I have not yet seen myself (this would be her hint to offer me review copies), and telling her about my difficulty locating items on the Web, she wrote back--no salutation--telling me that there shouldn't be any problem with the links, because they work for her. So I had to compose another message re-explaining that the links worked, but did not take me directly to the materials she wanted me to know about.

I think it's pretty safe to say that I won't be promoting this author or her work anytime soon.

--Prunella Peeve

A Trove of E-mail Peeves

Curly and I are both attuned to the many peeves associated with e-mail. Here's a great post from a publishing professional on the subject, complete with a lengthy comment thread in which readers post about the e-mail traits that most annoy them, too. A feast!

--Prunella Peeve

A Little Gratitude, Please!

This is a peeve somewhat related to Curly's post here. The new angle is this: When I see that a former classmate, colleague, or teacher has published a book or won a big prize, I'm often moved to write a note congratulating that person. Right away.

But you'd be amazed how often the messages go unanswered, or are answered only after quite a delay. (Or maybe you wouldn't be so amazed. Maybe this is even more common than I realize.)

So here's my message for all those big shots out there: If you're too busy/important to acknowledge little ol' me and my good wishes, you can bet you won't hear from me the next time. (If there is a next time!) So there!

--Prunella

Oh Friend, Where Art Thou?

One thing that has often puzzled and, yes, annoyed me is that people aren't very good about staying in touch. With email, things are so much easier. You needn't have to write a letter (whether in longhand or on a computer), print it out, address an envelope, find a stamp or go to the post office, and post the letter in a mailbox. It's just a matter of writing and email and sending it off.

I admit that I am usually quite good about responding to emails. Some would say too good, in that I try to respond within the day. If I am travelling, I have an auto-response to that effect, but I still make the effort to respond in a timely fashion. Maybe that's annoying. Maybe people think I write back too quickly.

But why are so many other people the opposite of timely? And why do they take so much time to respond, or even not respond at all, if we are discussing more serious matters? I mean, sure, it takes more time to respond, but it is so hurtful when one tells a friend something personal and/or important and then waits eagerly for a reply that never comes (or finally comes but ignores that part of the message). If people feel it is too hard to find something to say in response, perhaps they shouldn't ask about personal matters or profess to be a person's friend. And, no, this doesn't just happen to me, so I don't think it's just a matter of people not liking me!

So this is a double peeve, really. Why don't people write back in a timely manner? And why do they often ignore the deeper parts of a message? Don't they realize that that makes the recipent feel sad and uncared-for? Is it so much harder to be a friend via email?

--Curly

;-)

Many of us use those silly little smiley faces in emails. Sometimes they are useful when you really want to make your emotions clear (for example, if you are teasing someone and don’t want him/her to take offense). But these expressions truly do not belong in professional emails. I believe they should be saved for emails between friends or relatives.

I have been surprised when people have, for example, written to accept an article I wrote or wanted to let me know about a conference, and then used a smiley face in that message. To be honest, it actually makes me respect the person a little less or not find him/her as professional as I would have otherwise. In my opinion, smiley faces should be kept in their informal, casual place.

--Curly

Matters of Address

If you don’t know what gender a person is, why do most people assume male? I constantly get emails addresses to Dear Mr. or Dear Sir. Why not Dear Sir/Madam? Or Dear M. Surname (to create that French je ne sais quoi in an email)? Or even Dear First name Surname (though I must admit I dislike this one)?

And while I’m on the topic, what’s with referring to women as Miss? To my eyes, that seems like something for young women, while Ms. should be used once a female is no longer a teen. It feels offensive to called women Miss, especially as there is no equivalent term for younger males.

--Curly

Remove Me From Your List

We all know how annoying spam is. But what I also find annoying is when people add you to their personal mailing lists and then regularly send out advertisements or mass messages. For example, sometimes I have met people at academic conferences and exchanged business cards with them. Then without asking me, they automatically add me to their lists and I start getting newsletters from them or publicity information about their latest books or, even worse, updates on their private lives. My irritation increases when such people don’t even have the courtesy to use blind carbon-copy (BCC). That means that they show all the email addresses they send their messages to and that in turn means that recipients can use those mass emails to phish for more addresses to send their own emails too. In other words, suddenly you can find yourself on a bunch of lists that you never wanted to join.

--Curly