Some of My Best Friends Are…

In a number of ways and in many situations, I’m a minority (i.e. I’m not a white, straight, Christian male). Sometimes I’m the “token” person of my type. That’s generally okay, but what I don’t like is when people get into that whole “I know someone like you and I really don’t mind your people” routine.

There’s a difference between trying to connect with someone and being patronizing. It can feel patronizing when someone says, “I don’t mind blacks/Jews/atheists/gays/whatever” or “I have friends who are Hispanic/bi/Muslim/etc.” It can also feel patronizing when people start listing the things they know, or think they know, about “your people”. It can also be patronizing when someone says, “Oh, let me introduce you to so-and-so. You’ll get along because you’re both foreigners/transgender/pagans/etc.”

You don’t have to prove how liberal or accepting you are. Sometimes by trying to prove that, you just end up proving the opposite; in other words, you make a fool of yourself and show how hyper-aware of differences you really are.

--Curly