Double Standards

I was staying over at some friends’ house recently and one of my friends loaned me a book to read before bed. She knows me well and chose wisely: the book was He’s a Stud, She’s a Slut: And 49 Other Double Standards Every Woman Should Know, by Jessica Valenti.

This lightly humorous book offers 50 common double standards, explains them, and gives suggestions for what you can do about them. The double standards include: “he can be a beast, she must be a beauty,” “he’s a Romeo, she’s a stalker,” he’s gonna be a success, she’s gonna be a stay-at-home mom,” “he’s hot and heady, she’s brainy or boobilicious,” “he walks freely, she gets harassed,” “he’s neat, she’s neurotic,” “he’s stoic, she’s frigid,” “he’s himself, she’s Mrs. himself,” “he’s the boss, she’s a bitch,” “he’s childless, she’s selfish,” and many more.

Excellent reading for the peeved among us!

--Curly

Memories

Do we all idealize our childhood or early adulthood? Why do so many people think that things were better "back then" or say things such as "those were the days"?

Personally, I am not sure what good it does to think back to better times. And I get a bit tired of people saying how awful life is nowadays. If it's so awful, why don't we do something about it? All times and places have their problems; it isn't helpful to think that the grass was greener, to use a tired cliché, in a previous era.

--Curly

The Royal We

I don't like false politeness and I notice that people seem to think that the royal we is polite. "How are we today?" a waiter might ask. "I hope we have had a nice vacation," the doctor might remark. "What have we been up to?" a colleague might wonder.

Am I alone in disliking the royal we? What do we think about it?

--Curly

Don't Be Rude, Attribute!

OK, so it's not a perfect rhyme, but I'm too steamed right now to wax poetic anyway. As I imagine I may have mentioned earlier on this blog, I routinely produce a free newsletter. Each issue is prefaced with a copyright notice and a specific request to forward the newsletter in its entirety if people wish to share it.

And yet, I have very often found segments of my newsletter simply cut and pasted and shared with others, WITHOUT ATTRIBUTION, on Listservs/discussion groups to which I belong. With the most recent issue, this has already happened twice (by two individual errant posters). Worse, the moderator does not seem to be posting my polite notes to the group pointing out where the material came from.

I've already written to each of the errant posters. One has already responded and apologized. I should be fair and give the other one much more time to respond before rendering any judgments on that situation.

But really, people, what is so hard about this? DO NOT CUT AND PASTE OTHER PEOPLE'S WORK, ESPECIALLY WITHOUT APPROPRIATE ATTRIBUTION.

It's really very simple. Not to mention ethical. And polite.

--Pru

Sugar and Spice and All Things Nice

This is a pretty general rant about how parents raise daughters. I'm not a parent, but I am a daughter, and I wish girls weren't raised to be nice and to always feel like they have to please others.

I'm sure there are parents who raise their daughters differently and perhaps things are changing now, but I nevertheless feel that I have not been served well by this kind of upbringing. I have a lot of trouble saying "no", I don't know what it means to live for myself, and I can't express my own opinions well, especially if I disagree with someone who has a stronger personality (note the anonymity of this blog!).

I hope this generation of girls will grow up to be independent and that they will learn that they only have to please themselves.

--Curly

"Thanks" for Reading

We already link to the "Blog" of "Unnecessary" Quotation Marks, but I just had an urge to point it out. On a trip last month, I walked down a street where nearly every store and restaurant had unnecessary quotation marks.

"Thanks" for shopping here.

Come "back" soon.

"Enjoy" our gym.

Coffee and "tea" available.

Why oh why do people add these unnecessary quote marks?

--Curly