Against Brunch

I recently noticed this "Rant of the Week" by writer and editor Jeff Ruby:

...The other day, a friend asked what my favorite weekend brunch spot was, and I realized: I hate brunch. The whole tradition that we follow like robots: rising early on Sunday, packing into a crowded entryway, vestibule, or sidewalk, to wait for a table where an overextended server will bring me an omelet I could've made myself? This isn't dining. It's compulsory eating, and I want my time and calories back. What is the allure here? Is it the ritual? The camaraderie? The hangover? Nothing against restaurants that provide brunch ­nor those that do their best to add a little flair to it...but I'll sleep in. And I'll make my own French toast, thanks.

Now it's Curly again. I don't have quite the strong anti-brunch feelings Jeff Ruby does, but I certainly have plenty of memories of trying to get the family together for brunch on Saturdays or Sundays. There were always some relatives who wanted to get up early and beat the crowds and then there were others who wanted to have a leisurely sleep-in, since it was, after all, the weekend. So we usually compromised -- i.e. the people who liked to sleep late would say they'd "try" to get up at a reasonable time, which in practice meant that it would be a late brunch yet again. This in turn meant that the early risers would be cranky and hungry, so they would eat before we met at the restaurant, while the late risers would still complain about being tired and not having had enough sleep. Then we would get stuck standing in a long line (since brunch restaurants usually don't take reservations), all for the opportunity to sit in a noisy dining room with other crabby and tired families, where we wouldn't be able to hear each other over the din, and where we would have a choice of either cholesterol-rich egg dishes or sickly-sweet pancakes doused in fake maple syrup. Often, the coffee at such places isn't too good, either. My solution to the brunch problem is easy: I get together with the early risers for breakfast and the late risers for lunch, and I try to make plans for weekdays or other off-times, so there is no need to wait for an hour to be seated and another hour for the food.

--Curly