I am woman (hear me rant!) and I strongly resent being called a “girl”.
Males are not referred to as boys when they are in their late teens and older, but females are still called girls. In part, this is because there is no good female equivalent of “guy” (no, “chick” doesn’t count), but it also stems from issues of power. Women, even those in their 20s, 30s, 40s, 50s, or even older than that, are still seen as weak “girls” who need to be helped or who are looked down on. Have you ever heard a twenty-five-year-old or a forty-year-old man referred to as a “boy”? Think about why that doesn’t happen.
Some females are guilty of this too – they might say “I’m friends with a girl who…” or “So I was chatting with this girl…” and yet be referring to someone in her twenties or thirties. I don’t like when they do that (and I have a tendency to speak up about it). I, too, have done it at times as well. But I have now trained myself to show more respect to my fellow women and not talk to or about them as though they are still children. I wish others would consider this as well, especially all those people who claim that this is “just semantics” and that it is inoffensive to use the term “girl” for an adult woman.
Rodgers and Hammerstein had it wrong – I do not enjoy being a girl. I am too old for that. But I do enjoy being a woman.
--Curly
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5 comments:
heh-heh. I totally relate!!
Just recently i posted something like this on a forum elsewhere in response to someone who said he still believes that most women are still little girls at heart.
HAH!
lucky he said most. Because as for me? I have to say i cannot relate to the 'little girl inside thing'. I was never a little girl, not in a nice innocent way anyway which seems to be what most people think of, i was more like the scary "oh my god i hope i never meet another child that ever again" type (see the movie the Excorcist for more details), and i certainly never want to go back there. LOL! The part of me that likes to cuddle, that dares show a vulnerable side, is all adult, all woman. So is my heart -- no little girl locked in there, nor mother waiting to get out, just pure self-contained woman, who knows her own mind (at least theoretically, though disturbingly there is one person who really does seem to know it far better than me!). And in relationships I am not looking for a a parent figure at all.
Now, i do actually know women who prefer to be called girl, and i'm cool with that -- i'll do that. But it is not my kink!
you rock Curly!
Thank you for your comment!
So what do you do if people refer to you as a girl or talk about women as being girls? It is so annoying, I think.
Your comment about there (not) being a mother inside you waiting to get out is something I have ranted about here before (see http://peevesandrants.blogspot.com/2007/11/to-baby-or-not-to-baby-that-is-not.html). We seem to have the same sort of peeves, eh?
And, hmm, what kind of child were you exactly?!
--Curly
well I dont really know if i enjoy being a woman but i understand about the girl part. i trying to stop saying stuff liie that girl in my class everyone at school is 18 and over so therefore i should say that woman.
chuckles, well, curly, i must admit there is one person who can call me girl, but it is done in certain situations and a certain tone and within that context, welll, let's just say it's just fine with me .... winks.
But otherwise, well, actually, rarely do people refer to me as a girl, at least not to my face. Now, if they refer generally to women as girls, that is an interesting question. I guess it really depends on the context. I am thinking of getting ready to go out to the SF Pride Parade, me, a few other women, and a few gay men, and one of them will turn around and say, 'Hey girls, are we ready to PARTY!?' That never seemed to bother me ... I'll have to ponder about that. Certainly some women i know really act like little girls, so when they are called that, it makes sense. Hmmm, off to ponder a bit (and to find your other blog on the mother thing...)
--kimba
Teefus, do you ever use "young woman"? I find that rather annoying too, but I suppose it does sort of fit those in-between years when a female is not a girl but yet seems too young to be a woman.
Kimba, and what situation would that be? ;-) On a more serious note, I wonder if it seems different in the context you mentioned ("Let's go party, girls" or something like that). I know I have heard my grandma refer to her "girls' luncheons" and playing bridge "with the girls" or whatever. But I guess I still don't like it. To me, she should be saying "ladies" and not "girls". She is, after all, talking about women in ther 80s!
--Curly
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