I find it disrespectful and, of course, rant-worthy when people use words such as "gay" or "retarded" as negative terms of disparagement. As in, "Oh, that's so gay!" Or, "How retarded can you be?"
It isn't just young people who don't know better (though, incidentally, I am suspicious of the phrase "don't know better", since if someone doesn't know any better, why not teach him/her?) -- no, I hear people of all ages using "gay" and "retarded" as synonyms for "stupid" or "ridiculous" or "unlikeable", seemingly without giving a thought to what they are really saying. And what they are saying is that there is something wrong in being gay or in having some sort of disability.
True, words do change in meaning over time. But why do we have to take words such as "gay" and "retarded" and make them pejorative? Doing so reveals our own biases, and this says something pretty sad about our society today. I think it's stupid and depressing when we use these words in this way, but it's certainly not "gay" or "retarded".
--Curly
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5 comments:
i agree i cannot stand it when some one says thats so gay. retarded bothers me too it should one be used in the actully sense of the word.
Good post, Curly. You might want to check out this site, a creation of Jenna Glatzer (of AbsoluteWrite.com fame).
--Pru
Teefus, it does confuse matters when one word is used in a variety of ways, especially if one sense is negative and another is positive or neutral.
Thanks for that link, Prunella! I hadn't heard of that pledge before. I like the idea, but I'm not going to sign it, since I don't use the word anyway. I hope others sign, though!
--Curly
I just saw this article and thought part of it was very appropriate:
http://www.nytimes.com/2009/01/04/fashion/04social.html?ref=fashion
--Curly
Calling Harvey Milk
Several of my classmates and dorm mates in college use the term “gay” to describe something or someone they don’t like. While I’m not gay myself, I do cringe at that epithet every time it’s thrown around. Without jeopardizing my friendships with these guys, how do you recommend I effectively make them stop using derogatory language?
Anonymous, Washington
I understand that kids these days sometimes use the word “gay” in a pejorative, but not necessarily homosexual, sense — as in “That bio lab is so gay.” They obviously haven’t seen “Milk,” the new biopic with a ferociously charming Sean Penn as the gay activist who beat back Proposition 6 — and a citrus-sweet Anita Bryant — in the late 70s. Take your friends to it. I dare them to call your bio lab “gay” — or its nerdy professor, either — after they’ve seen Harvey Milk in action.
If Washington has lousy film distribution — or the movie theater has been commandeered by investment bankers demanding larger bailout checks — deal with your friends’ careless bigotry the old-fashioned way: make it personal. People have a harder time discriminating against folks they actually know. Tell them you’ve got gay friends who are pretty great, and ask them to rethink their choice of words. If they’re not convinced, introduce them to one, and let them see for themselves.
If all else fails, stage a re-enactment of “Three’s Company” with you in the John Ritter pretending-to-be-gay-to-live-with-the-foxy-chicks role. Who knows, it may be the part of a lifetime!
Here is another article on this issue and how it can even lead to death:
http://warner.blogs.nytimes.com/2009/04/16/who-are-you-calling-gay/
--Curly
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