A Bone To Pick

Lesbians, I have a bone to pick with you. (Yes, I’ve chosen that less than apt phrase on purpose.) This summer, I read about a new support and social group for queer women in my city. I called the number listed so I could get more information. Knowing attitudes towards bisexuals in general (and specifically within the queer community, not to even mention within the heterosexual community), I thought it wise to ask whether bisexual women were welcome. The woman on the other end of the line, who had just a moment before been well-spoken and welcoming, began stuttering; she started a sentence, interrupted herself, started a different one, cut herself off again, and so on. Finally she said, “Well, to be honest, I don’t know.” She suggested that I come to the first meeting, present myself as a bisexual, and let the others decide whether I could take part in the group. Okay, so I am supposed to open up about my sexuality to a bunch of people I don’t know and then wait for them to pass judgment on whether I am queer enough for them and whether they can handle a bi woman in their midst? No, thanks.

So my feeling is that either the queer community needs to be less judgmental about those of us they consider fence-sitters or else we bisexuals need to stop trying to join the supposed lgbt party and instead start more organizations and activities just for us.

--Curly